Have you ever been stuck in a season of waiting? Maybe you are currently praying for the Lord to answer a specific request while also having complete faith that he will answer exceedingly, abundantly above all that you ask or think (Ephesians 3:20) just to have the answer be “no” or “wait”… again. How can we keep from getting discouraged and how can we continue to pray in faith?
I am a wife and a mom to a sweet baby in Heaven, a 5 year old girl, a 3 year old boy and I am pregnant with a baby due in August. I am one of 5 children and I grew up in a great Christian home with parents who loved me and showed me Christ’s love daily. I was saved at a young age, attended the same Christian school my entire life and after graduation, I started a job at a pediatric dentist. I married the literal man of my dreams a year later. Somehow everything in my life seemed to fall into place without much thought or prayer from me until 3 years into our marriage when we found out we were pregnant with our first baby.. SO much excitement. We enthusiastically told all of our family and friends, started planning and thinking of baby names just to have an ultrasound and there not be a heartbeat. I grieved the loss of our baby and immediately started trying to have another. It took a few months for us to get pregnant with our rainbow baby, but I remember feeling like those were the longest months of my life. Just in that short time of waiting, I would cry and ask God if He would ever allow me to carry another child. We brought our baby girl home a year to the date that I had my miscarriage. God is SO good! “He hath made everything beautiful in his time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
This month makes a year of my family waiting for the Lord to answer a big prayer for us. I have times where I feel like I am doing everything right. I am living my life serving the Lord the best I can, serving in the ministry with my husband, raising my kids while showing them the love of Jesus, spending time in relationship with God, praying diligently and having complete faith that God can move mountains for my family. If I’m doing what I’m “supposed” to, why has God still not answered with a yes? Why have I still been utterly disappointed each time I get a “no”? It’s easy to put on a fake, confident smile and say to people, “we are just trusting God” or “I guess He has a better plan for us” each time what I am praying for doesn’t work out. While those aren’t bad things to say, am I outwardly saying those things while inwardly losing faith? Has my praying and Bible reading turned into a checklist? Am I just doing the right things thinking that will ultimately get God to answer my prayers how I think He should?
Almost 5 months into this cycle, I remember having a pity party for myself. I was sitting on my bed crying, wondering why I should even read my Bible or pray today if the answer is just going to be “no” again. I was discouraged and disheartened thinking I should just give up because it doesn’t matter anyways. Honestly, I didn’t read my Bible that day. Instead, I spent the day wondering why God didn’t answer what I specifically prayed for because in my mind, it was the perfect plan.
The next day I opened my Bible in Pslams and this is what I read -
“Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah. And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings. Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God? Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.”
Psalm 77:5-14
In the times I feel like God is done being gracious to me and that His favor and mercy are gone, I should remember that He is faithful and never changing. What about all the prayers the Lord has already answered for me? What about the stories in the Bible of Moses, Joseph, Daniel or David? He is the same God! I will meditate and remember His works and His wonders.
I spent my entire life praying that my grandfather would be saved; I spent my childhood crying and begging him to please accept Jesus as His savior just to have him repeatedly tell me no. I prayed countless hours that the Lord would convict him. On Easter morning six years ago, at the age of 82, my Papa received the gift of salvation. He is now in Heaven worshiping our Saviour and loving on his great-grand baby that we weren’t able to meet here on earth.
Honestly, I have no idea when this season of waiting will be over for me. I also don’t know your situation, what you are currently facing or what prayer you have specifically been praying for; but I know that God hears you. He sees you and He loves you. Forget the checklist and delight in your personal relationship with Him. “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4
Ask the Lord to make His desires your desires and remember to focus on all of the great things He has done as you continue to get “No” or “Wait” as your answer. Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep expecting God to do great things for you. “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” Matthew 7:7-11
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