And Even in Your Loneliness, He is Still Good.

When you Google the word “isolation,” the dictionary definition says, “to cause (a person or place) to be or remain alone or apart from others.” Sound familiar? In a world where we spend our days on social media, it is easy to assume that everyone except for you has the most amazing community cheering them on and pouring into them. As much as we tell ourselves that Instagram is a highlight reel, it is so hard to remember that when our old friends are with their new friends and you haven’t left the house in days. No one prepares you for how lonely your twenties can be. But people move away, they make new friends, we get different jobs, and everything changes. After high school, I sat alone and watched it all happen through my phone screen. I asked myself, “did I make a mistake by staying at home?” and that question soon turned into,

“Why does no one like me?”

“Why can I not have what they have?”

And even, “why is God doing this to me?”

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Psalm 24:16-17.

I felt like I was missing out on some major coming-of-age moment. Besides my family, I was not surrounded by a Christ-centered community and I felt like I was facing this new and uncertain phase of life completely and utterly alone. As I am entering the season of being a “twenty-something” the loneliness makes itself a little more obvious everyday. The people in my life are all getting jobs, or they live two hours away, or they already have plans. We are living completely separate and completely different lives. We are overwhelmed by the new and ever-changing seasons of life that we don’t have room in our minds to consider our friendships. It has also become apparent that we don’t know how to talk to each other. It is so hard to truly invest in friendships when most of our interactions with each other have been superficial. It’s easy to think that those people we see on our Instagram feed are our friends, but we can hardly get ourselves to leave a comment. We have become so used to being social on the internet that it has become increasingly difficult to be social outside of the internet. As a generation, we are all collectively struggling with these issues. It’s hard not to laugh at the irony, we are all sitting in our own unique loneliness…together.

I have had glimpses of the spirit-filled community that I have fervently prayed for. I have been to house churches and church camps where I have looked around and thought, “this is it, the Lord has finally answered my prayers.” I find myself mourning the loss of it before it has even started. And then we all go home and that loneliness creeps back in. The group chats die out. Those temporary friendships were never meant to last.

The people are gone. But God is saying, “I am right here.”

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Psalm 73:23–26.

I cannot write about how to find friends, I can’t even tell you that you are going to find that spirit-filled community that “everyone” seems to have. But I can tell you that within your loneliness, God is good. Within your isolation, God is still good. He allows us to be isolated for a reason. He allows us to be alone so that we will draw closer to Him, and seek Him and His goodness. He refines us and molds us in our waiting. He removes us from the distractions that the wrong people can bring into our lives. He prepares us for the next chapter even when it doesn’t feel like it. You are not alone in your loneliness. You are not unlikable. God is not trying to punish you. Do not let the lies of the devil pull you away from your purpose. God has a plan for you and His plan is always perfect.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10.

I know it is HARD. It is hard to draw closer to Him when we are mourning what could have been. It is hard to actively seek Him when we are scrolling TikTok for 6 hours a day to fill some kind of friend-shaped hole in our lives. It is hard to walk through seasons of change when you feel like nobody's praying for you. It is hard to see His goodness when no one has asked you how you are in months. If you are like me, and everything is uncertain and new…you know, it is just hard. But it is easy to fill the broken parts with things of the world. Scrolling social media is easy. But it also seems to be the thing that makes that loneliness grow. The things of this world will always seem much more convenient to us than seeking Him.

I want to encourage you by reminding you that the Creator of the stars also created you. And not only did He create you, but He loves you so deeply that He sent His Son to die for you. He wanted a true relationship with you so badly that He sent Jesus to the cross. Just sit in that for a moment.

One of my favorite hymns says, “He speaks and the sound of His voice is so sweet the birds hush their singing. And the melody that He gave to me, within my heart is ringing. And He walks with me. And He talks with me. And He tells me I am His own. And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. (In the Garden).” His voice is so sweet, and He is telling us that we are His own. No matter how much we search for people in this world, they will never fill us and satisfy us in the way that our precious Savior does. Our loneliness is not bigger than our Savior; it is not so great that our Lord cannot conquer it.

It may feel like you have no one in your corner. But my friend, I promise you that the Creator of the universe is by your side in every single moment. I pray that you will bask in this goodness and that you will draw closer to Him as He is ever drawing closer to you.

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. Jeremiah 29:13-14.