Have you ever felt like God left you stranded in a moment of disappointment? Like you are so far removed from Him in that moment that He couldn’t possibly be by your side. You might be hurt, angry, let down, confused, sad, lonely, ashamed, afraid, broken-hearted. These are just a few of the emotions that disappointment leads us to. God never intended for us to feel any of these emotions. He wants us to feel secure that, even in our disappointment, He works all things for our good.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
April 19, 2003- I married Stacy. My very best friend, and the love of my life.
September 8, 2004- We were blessed with our first beautiful baby, Maddie.
March 8, 2006- Our surprise baby, Wyatt, was born. Best surprise ever.
June 2006- The Lord saw fit to move our family to Northeast Georgia.
Thanksgiving week 2012- Stacy had been so sick while we were traveling to see family, and we couldn’t figure out why.
December 4, 2012- After finding a mass on Stacy’s pancreas, he has a biopsy of pancreas, bile duct, and intestines and Dr’s say all biopsies come back…. very aggressive Cancer.
December 13, 2012- Stacy’s “whipple” surgery at Emory University Hospital, which is a major surgery to remove the affected part of his intestines and pancreas. We were hopeful that this surgery would lead to treatment, and then ultimately, Stacy’s health would be restored.
January 30, 2013- A turn of events while at Emory meeting with Stacy’s oncologist. CT scan done, with the worst results imaginable. The cancer has spread to Stacy’s liver, and he is now stage 4—terminal.
Stacy tried his best to be able to come home, but ultimately, he lived the rest of his days at Northeast Georgia hospital. He battled through two inpatient chemotherapy treatments but got to a point where Stacy’s doctors believed that his best course of action was to halt treatment. The treatment made his body and mind even weaker, so Stacy decided to stop treatments. The amazing Hospice staff at Northeast Georgia Hospital cared for Stacy until he breathed his last breath on the evening of March 28, 2013. His healing came…it was just not the healing we had hoped and prayed for. But Stacy was now healed, whole, perfect, and with Jesus.
Disappointment comes in many forms. Sickness, losing a job, divorce, losing a child, losing a spouse…but it even comes as things like disappointment in ourselves, our choices, and the way our lives turned out.
But what does God say about disappointment?
I will lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where will my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your feet go out from under you. He Who watches over you will not sleep. 4 Listen, He Who watches over Israel will not close his eyes or sleep.5 The Lord watches over you. The Lord is your safe cover at your right hand. 6 The sun will not hurt you during the day and the moon will not hurt you during the night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all that is sinful. He will watch over your soul. 8 The Lord will watch over your coming and going, now and forever. Psalms 121:1-8 (NIV)
God is the source of your help. He alone provides the peace, strength, and comfort that you need to face anything and everything. He will never slumber, He will keep watch over you, because He loves you more than you could ever fathom.
The heartache that comes from disappointment can leave us feeling alone, confused, vulnerable, in a fog, and wondering…where do I go now? What should I do? These feelings are all too familiar. In the days after my husband passed away, I felt all of that and much more. I will tell you, I got angry…very angry. Why, God? Why did you allow this to happen to Stacy? To our children? To me? Confusion and bitterness took root, and I was unaware that I was in the process of turning my back on God. However, even as I turned away from God, He continued to reach out to me. He never turned His back on me. He is forever faithful. In the middle of our pain and sorrow…our faith whispers that this disappointment is not permanent.
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:6-8 (NIV)
Satan will use our disappointments as a target for his evil schemes. He loves nothing more than to make us feel like God no longer loves us. We must, in our disappointments, look past our hurt and look to our Healer. In the ups and downs of life He is our only constant. There is an unexplainable peace that comes when you turn it all over to Him. Nothing comes as a surprise to God, we just have to trust that He will allow everything to happen in His perfect timing.
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7(ESV)
God is always working behind the scenes. Sometimes, it is super frustrating to wait because we want everything fixed…. NOW. However, God wants to show us, in the waiting, who He is. He also wants us to learn more about who we are, and what He created us to do. How in the world would clarity happen in our lives if everything worked out just perfectly…the way we wanted it to? The moments of disappointment in our lives cause us to stop in our tracks and focus on Him and where He is taking us. He has a great plan for your life.
Psalm 40: 1-3 (NIV)
1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him
You see, God uses every ounce of our pain. Our testimonies are not so much for us, but for those who God will place in our path to hear them. God has used my testimony, over and over and every time I just look up and say, “Thank You”. I want to glorify Him and all that He has done. Does this mean that the hurt has completely gone away? No. However, I rejoice knowing how He is using me, and I am humbled and honored to be a part of His plan.
7 For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 (ESV)
This is the verse the Lord gave to me in the pit of my disappointment and despair. Thank you, Lord, for never leaving my side.
I’m so grateful for His faithfulness! I love you, my friend!