A Heart Push

A heart push. It’s what I needed to be able to write again, to start up the blog again. For months, I’ve placed it to the side and it’s definitely not because I’ve had copious amounts of time (we’ll get there in a second) but it’s because I’ve been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with how this platform should be stewarded. Overwhelmed with not saying the right things and how this will work after I graduate college. Overwhelmed with what this looks like as I move into a professional space. A New Day Blog feels almost like a child to me in a way. It was an idea and a heart dream that the Lord gave me before my freshman year of college and one that He allowed to bear fruit over time. What a JOY it has been. I’ve felt the mental push for months now to start writing again because not only is this a platform that the Lord has allowed me to create but it’s a form of worship for me- one that I’ve been neglecting honestly. 

This post is raw and it’s real and it shows my humanity more than I would like for it to in ways but this is my worship. This is my song. I have nothing but filthy rags to offer King Jesus so my worship is what I will bring to His feet.  

Through the distraction of change, satan has told me the lie over and over again that I am undeserving of worshipping in this way, that no one needs or wants to hear what the Lord has placed on my heart to share. And for too long I have listened and believed the father of lies speaking in his native tongue to me. 

My life is rapidly changing in almost every area and for the most part they are all GOOD things (like really good things (like “getting married to my best friend in 3 months” good things). I don’t know about you but I do not handle change very gracefully and when change comes around, anxiety and stress follows. This is the perfect breeding ground for satan to whisper lies to me and make me feel like I am not capable or too busy to carry out the calling the Lord has placed on my life. You know that feeling when the Lord lovingly nudges you to do something and you tell Him you’ll do it later? Yeah, that’s where I’ve been. 

During this season of life I’m in the last semester of college, being thrown into full time student teaching, planning a wedding, gearing up to move to a new city and start a big girl job, and a million other things. My head feels like it’s spinning most of the day. During this season of stretching and preparation, a word that the Lord has continually kept reminding me of is anchor. 

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrew 6:19

There’s something so assuring and firm about knowing the Lord is my anchor; that though the wind and waves will come I will not be carried away into the world because I have Him as my anchor. 

As I navigate and learn how to wade through the waters of this changing season of my life, I know that the Lord will guide my steps. Moving forward with A New Day Blog, I’m not exactly sure how it will look but I do know that the Lord has placed the desire on my heart continuously to continue to pour into this vessel. Therefore, I will be obedient and trust His guidance. 

Is there something that the Lord has been placing on your heart? Have you gotten that feeling of your heart pausing and your chest tightening up as a crazy idea comes to mind that you immediately dismiss and think to yourself, “I could never do that”? Whatever it may be, I want to encourage you to pray about it, take it to the feet of Jesus. Talk about it with a trusted group of friends and ask them to pray about it too. I think about this verse that slapped me in the face when I was reading Proverbs the other day. It says, 

“Hopes placed in mortals die with them; all the promise of their power comes to nothing.” Proverbs 11:7

The Holy Spirit reeeally used this one to shake me awake. Think about the first half of that verse; the hopes that are placed in your heart will die when you die. Those hopes and dreams, the ones that have been uniquely given to you by the Creator who saw you in your mother’s womb and knit you together, who knows your innermost being has given you desires and talents that are specifically and wonderfully tailored to you. He has placed God-given dreams in your heart, don't let them die with you!

I think about this often… 

Imagine yourself many years from now. It’s a cool summer evening and you’re sitting on the porch with loved ones. Grandkids are wild and young running around the yard, with disheveled hair and strawberry on their faces. As you rock back and forth in the rocking chair, you reflect about everything the Lord has done and allowed you to do to get to this sweet point of life. Maybe that was establishing a family and raising children, pursuing a career where you got to be the hands and feet of Jesus, or traveling and evangelizing to people groups all over the world. Whatever it was, you’re now older and gray. Your body just isn’t the same and you have the sobering realization that you have more life behind you than you have ahead of you. 

In that moment, I desire that I would have PEACE. Peace and satisfaction knowing that I pursued and carried out the callings that the Lord had placed on my heart and that I did not let them die with me. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and have these thoughts dangling over my head and wishing my last years away that I could go back and pursue these desires. Don’t save them for another day! Start praying now and ask God what steps you can take today to carry out that “God dream” that you know that He has placed on your heart. 

There’s something SO powerful and energizing when you’re walking in the Lord's will for your life. That feeling of being exactly where you’re meant to be and excited about what the Lord is doing through you… there’s no feeling like it. 

I encourage you today, to evaluate where you are in life. Open your Bible, grab a journal and just commune with the Lord. Ask Him about some dreams that you have put to the side whether it has been because of school, kids, distraction or yourself, and what the next steps look like to carrying them out. Don’t live your life on autopilot, be active in your faith, renewing your mind daily, repenting, and constantly asking the Lord to guide your steps. 

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. The LORD works out everything to its proper end- even the wicked for a day of disaster.” Proverbs 16:2-3